Scenario One:
Beatrice walks through the plain white hall towards the break room of her job. Still tired from the night before she heads to the coffee machine. She stands aside of her co-worker, Janice.
“Good morning, how are you doing?” Janice says glancing towards Beatrice while continuing to fill her cup with coffee.
“Good morning,” Beatrice replies, “I’m doing okay.” Beatrice flashes a fake smile, one that could win her an award on the red carpet.
Janice steps aside adding her condiments to the already flavorful blend.
Beatrice takes her turn at filling her cup with coffee while her head spins with the stresses of her life. She exhales while trying to grab those thoughts and edge them to the back of her mind. That’s where they need to be and where they will stay, at least until she leaves work.
Scenario Two:
Beatrice walks through the plain white hall towards the break room of her job. Still tired from the night before she heads to the coffee machine. She stands aside of her co-worker, Janice.
“Good morning, how are you doing?” Janice says glancing towards Beatrice while continuing to fill her cup with coffee and then steps to the side.
Beatrice takes her turn, fills her cup with coffee and decides to respond honestly. “Well actually, I was up all night because Nate, my husband, went out and came home drunk. I locked him out and he spent about two hours banging on my door. So there I was up until about four in the morning when Junior began vomiting.” Beatrice adds the same condiments to her coffee like Janice had just done moments before. Beatrice keeps talking without missing a beat. “Junior suffers from separation anxiety and knowing that his daddy wasn’t home had him wired up. On top of that, now that Nate is out of the house I’m not sure how I’m going to pay the rent next week.” Beatrice sips her coffee before adding one more sentence, “That’s how I’m doing today.”
Janice takes a step back totally unsure of what to say or how to react. The expression on her face says it all.
“Have a good day.” Beatrice says before walking away heading towards her office, leaving Janice behind astonished.
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Let’s begin by evaluating scenario number two. Put yourself in Janice’s shoes. Imagine that the two of you are only work buddies and don’t get very personal with each other. How would you react? I personally would’ve been like, ‘Wow I didn’t ask to know all that.’ BUT.. In reality I did ask, by asking, how are you doing?
Scenario number one is our norm. It has become normal to ask someone how are you doing and not even expect any other response but; good, okay, or even my favorite, hanging in there. I’m left to wonder, was this always the case? Or is this recent maybe since the change of society and social media. Have we as American’s became so involved in ourselves that we’ll question someone, how are you, even in passing while continuing to walk away without a pause to wait for a response? Or is it that we are in such a hurry, that to hear the honest answer from someone would slow us down, put us behind schedule, or maybe even make us uncomfortable?
Leave your comments. Don’t be shy, tell me what you think. And yes you may tell me how you are doing, honestly, if you choose.
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M.C. Addington 
It is so funny because before I started working here I was working somewhere else and they said if you do not have the time to listen to someone after you just asked the “how are you doing ?” Than maybe you should not ask and just say hello.
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@glenda, your job said that or the people that worked there. That’s interesting but true. Thanks for the comment.
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@ishi thanks for the comment and all the love you’ve shown me on my blogs and posts in ig. Everything you just said is true. I personally am quick to I’m hanging in there merely because I don’t want to talk about it.
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Scenario 2 is always me. Haha. I love it when I see people speechless after my rant. BUT if I’m not feeling up for it to tell, i’ll just say i’ll be fine or hanging on. For me, it’s like just merely asking someone out of asking but the essence and meaning of it is usually brushed off. And usually the answer is same way that people don’t want to talk about it so leave it with a short reply so there’ll no follow up questions.
Oh this is ishi from instagram!❤️
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I usually was the scene 2 but I’m starting to realize we all have complaints and negativity but some people I work with complain all the time and I do not want to sound like them. We all have positive and negative going on in our lives. It’s much healthier to focus on the positive !!!!
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We live in a society where we determine people’s moods based upon their latest social media posts; we generally do not ask people how they are doing when we face them in person, we rely upon their posts in order to make a mundane comment wishing them positive thoughts, but we genuinely do not take the time to truly ask someone how they are doing or what we can do to help them. A hello has become just that, a very informal gesture intended to refrain from social stiffness in a society that relies entirely on social media to communicate.
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I agree 100%. This is a nicely written comment. Thanks for your support.
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I think we have all become creatures of habit and never think about what we say, we are almost robotic in the way we communicate with each other.
We need to find new ways to communicate. My late husband use to always answer the phone with the words… You rang? This immediately threw people and they did not know how to respond 🙂
When ending a phone call I always find if you say to someone… Thankyou for you help, they always respond warmly as most people probably take them for granted and it makes them feel appreciated.
Maybe we need to think of different, creative ways of asking and responding to people 🙂
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A very well thoughtout comment with a great example about your husband. I agree with what you have written, Veronica. And I truly appreciate the time it took you to read my blog and respond. Thank you for your time and support.
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