Scenario One:
Beatrice walks through the plain white hall towards the break room of her job. Still tired from the night before she heads to the coffee machine. She stands aside of her co-worker, Janice.
“Good morning, how are you doing?” Janice says glancing towards Beatrice while continuing to fill her cup with coffee.
“Good morning,” Beatrice replies, “I’m doing okay.” Beatrice flashes a fake smile, one that could win her an award on the red carpet.
Janice steps aside adding her condiments to the already flavorful blend.
Beatrice takes her turn at filling her cup with coffee while her head spins with the stresses of her life. She exhales while trying to grab those thoughts and edge them to the back of her mind. That’s where they need to be and where they will stay, at least until she leaves work.
Scenario Two:
Beatrice walks through the plain white hall towards the break room of her job. Still tired from the night before she heads to the coffee machine. She stands aside of her co-worker, Janice.
“Good morning, how are you doing?” Janice says glancing towards Beatrice while continuing to fill her cup with coffee and then steps to the side.
Beatrice takes her turn, fills her cup with coffee and decides to respond honestly. “Well actually, I was up all night because Nate, my husband, went out and came home drunk. I locked him out and he spent about two hours banging on my door. So there I was up until about four in the morning when Junior began vomiting.” Beatrice adds the same condiments to her coffee like Janice had just done moments before. Beatrice keeps talking without missing a beat. “Junior suffers from separation anxiety and knowing that his daddy wasn’t home had him wired up. On top of that, now that Nate is out of the house I’m not sure how I’m going to pay the rent next week.” Beatrice sips her coffee before adding one more sentence, “That’s how I’m doing today.”
Janice takes a step back totally unsure of what to say or how to react. The expression on her face says it all.
“Have a good day.” Beatrice says before walking away heading towards her office, leaving Janice behind astonished.
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Let’s begin by evaluating scenario number two. Put yourself in Janice’s shoes. Imagine that the two of you are only work buddies and don’t get very personal with each other. How would you react? I personally would’ve been like, ‘Wow I didn’t ask to know all that.’ BUT.. In reality I did ask, by asking, how are you doing?
Scenario number one is our norm. It has become normal to ask someone how are you doing and not even expect any other response but; good, okay, or even my favorite, hanging in there. I’m left to wonder, was this always the case? Or is this recent maybe since the change of society and social media. Have we as American’s became so involved in ourselves that we’ll question someone, how are you, even in passing while continuing to walk away without a pause to wait for a response? Or is it that we are in such a hurry, that to hear the honest answer from someone would slow us down, put us behind schedule, or maybe even make us uncomfortable?
Leave your comments. Don’t be shy, tell me what you think. And yes you may tell me how you are doing, honestly, if you choose.
*** If you like what you’ve read so far check out my new book, ‘Entwined Senses of the Mind’ available on amazon.com for only 2.99. As a preview you can download a free sample. Be sure to leave a review 🙂 ***
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